You don’t have to stay where you are

We are all at different places in the journey. You may be at the top. You may be at the bottom. You may be somewhere between those extremes. Sometimes we don’t even know where we are until we are no longer there.

Wherever you are today one thing is crucial for you to understand. Please listen carefully.

You can change the things you hate about your life.

But…(start listing excuses here.)

I know. There are good reasons you are where you are. Things happened. People reacted. You didn’t know. I get it. God knows I do. So much changed for me last year, too. Sometimes it is what it is for a season.

I’ve been in the process of trying to change. I told you I had, over the past year, come face to face with my many flaws. One major area of change in the last few months has been my weight. I have struggled with my weight on and off since my fourth was born. I don’t post on social media when I gain weight. I don’t announce it when I lose weight, because I’ve been up and down before and I know it can happen again.

Having said that, a good majority of my friends gained weight over the last year, so to not talk about it seems like avoiding the elephant in the room. No pun intended.

In January I took a hike with my family. Winter hiking isn’t my thing. I’m more than happy to stay home wrapped in a blanket, but I went, and it changed the trajectory of my life.

In many ways it was a wonderful walk. We saw beautiful frozen things. The kids wanted to take selfies. We took four, maybe five, and had a great time.

Eventually, though, I looked at the pictures.

UGH. Double UGH. I can go a long time without facing the truth.

It had been nine months since stepping into a gym. I had been staying at home with my family full-time (thanks to distance learning and being unable to continue my job as an elderly companion). Three of the kids work, so eating happened at all times and in all places. Because we weren’t going to restaurants, I was spending a lot of time in the kitchen. I barely left the house. You don’t realize how many steps you take in the process of going to your car, walking to a building, and walking around inside the building once you’re there. Going nowhere burns so many less calories. Then there was my false assumption that home-made baked goods bring the peace that passes all understanding. Add to that our new family pass time watching the latest TV series that drew us in and I looked different than one year prior.

Here’s the proof. No, it’s not a good picture. But I was considerably less round in February 2020 than I was eleven months later.

Most of us fit into one of three camps: there are those who, during the pandemic, lost weight and are in the best shape of their adult lives. This includes my husband, who, thanks to not being able to eat out, dropped 25 pounds. There are those of us doing our best to avoid a camera because we have gained. And God bless those of you who managed to maintain your weight and muscle tone despite the craziness around you.

On the ride home from the hike, as I looked at the pictures and realized I was in the category of people who did not fair well through Covid I realized I was standing before a three pronged fork. Again, no pun intended.

I could 1) go home and crawl into bed and continue on the same path, 2) eat the calorie laden egg rolls my family was picking up from our favorite Chinese restaurant (which, btw I had not eaten in well over 12 months) thereby putting off any action for another day or 3) draw a line in the sand and decide this was day one.

I chose #3.

Within an hour of returning home I got on the mini-elliptical machine I bought a few months earlier. The next day I did the same, and the next and the next. I quit baking and got serious about what was on my plate.

Nine days later I took a selfie. My face already looked less puffy.

Mind you, that was the only thing that was less puffy. Trust me. I couldn’t get my jeans on. But day after day after day I got back on that elliptical, seven days a week, because I didn’t want to stay where I was.

Yes, I was a LONG way from where I had been. Yes, I was, and still am, a LONG way from where I want to be. But I am not staying where I don’t want to be.

Did I take some missteps along the way? That would be a yeeesss. I tried a pretty intense fasting program. Apparently it works for a good many people. I was miserable. Five days in on a Zoom meeting with a friend I realized I needed to stop. After the second off-colored word came rolling out of my mouth I apologized and told her black coffee made me into a bitter person. That was the end of that program. I still try to fast 12 hours between the last thing I eat at night and the first thing I eat in the morning, but I don’t always stick to it. Sometimes I eat carrots with my daughter while watching a movie late at night. Sometimes fish crackers are in the mix, too. Or lime tortilla chips.

Shrug.

Bottom line. I don’t want you to stay where you don’t want to be. You don’t have to go crazy. Just do something.

Three and a half months after that January hike my oldest and I went to Chicago. I wore my jeans. I bought two overpriced donuts at a Chicago hotspot, cut a bite out of each, and brought the rest home for my other kids.

Do I still have a ways to go? Yes. I do. I haven’t lost a lot of the weight I put on last year. But I don’t use food to fill the void all.the.time anymore.

You know what else I’ve found? When I get serious about exercise and eating I get serious about other things, too. I once heard a man say his whole day was determined by his choice to floss in the morning. If he flossed, he tended to be disciplined about everything else he did during the day, too. When he skipped flossing, he tended to be less disciplined in every other area of his life. I can’t put money on it, but being disciplined in one area tends to spill over into other areas in my life, too.

Do SOMETHING. Take one step toward being who you want to be.

Commit to a half hour on the treadmill. A walk everyday. Not eating after 7 pm. You will see changes. Not tomorrow. Maybe not for two weeks. Maybe not for two months. In fact, this time around change is coming so much more slowly than it has in the past. Keep making the next good choice, even if you don’t see change.

And know that God doesn’t set your value based on weight. He loves you with an everlasting love. He is your peace, and no chocolate chip cookie, ice cream sundae or piece of candy can hold a candle to the peace he freely gives.

There’s so much more to say, but that is for another day.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you.